"Who me? Trunky? Nah..."

     "Hey, Elder, how far away do you think that plane is?"


     "Hmm... About three weeks."  This is the conversation that myself and my companion have every time we see a plane flying through the sky, beckoning us home.  See, something curious has happened.  My new companion, Elder Crowther, and I both go home on the very same day. I have no clue why or how this happened, but it did.  So, if you ask either of us if we are trunky, we will reply with a series of other ridiculous rhetorical questions such as:  "Is the Pope Catholic?" "Does a bear poop in the woods?" or "Does John Madden love his turducken?"  The answer is, of course!



Brought to you by: Elder Crowther!



     Now, to any of you unfamiliar with the missionary terminology, trunkiness is a form of homesickness that a missionary is often afflicted by when he or she is about to return home.  Basically, the origin of the word is that when a missionary is soon to die (go home) they have their trunks (see what I did there?) mentally packed.  They're ready and itching to get on with life.

Sin and Pumpkin Pie

So, recently, I've been on a "getting fit" kick.  Missionaries, at least in our mission, do a "six months to slim" program for their last six months.  I got on board as well.  It's nothing too specific, just eat better, exercise more, and in general, be healthier.  Something I have adopted as my mantra is the phrase, "A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips."  Cheesy, I know, but very effective.  I first heard this as I was chowing on some candied yams, I immediately put down my fork.  Anyway, I have been thinking about the universality of that phrase, and how it can actually pertain to our spiritual well-being as well as our physical fitness.  More specifically, it got me thinking about how we need to keep our spirits "fit" in much the same way as we do our bodies.

So, as human beings, we need to eat in order to nourish our bodies.  You and I both know that some things you eat are good for you, and other things are DELICIOUS bad for you.  In the same vein, our spirits are always taking in spiritual food, every waking moment.  Some things that our spirits take in are good for our spirits, and other things are bad.

Panda Ponderings Part 2: Participating in the Present



The two fingers are for part two.
Just to clarify.

   "Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, but today is a gift.  That's why it's called the present."  Those were some of Master Oogway's last words that he said to Po, the reluctant hero, soon to be Dragon Warrior.  The wise old turtle departed in a blaze of pink petals soon afterwards.  It was weird, but somehow it worked.  But that's not what we're focusing on.  Today, we're focusing on the present.

   Okay, it may be a little bit early for this, but lately I have kind of been reviewing my mission, and planning for the future.  I've been out for about 20 months now, and it's hard not to think about the future, and ponder on the past.  Little things creep into my mind, like school, jobs, money, and a myriad of other things that, quite frankly, I'll need to wait for.  I also look back and think, "Well, if I had just done this better, things would have turned out differently."  It stresses me out.  I really wish it would just stop, but it's harder than it seems.  All I know is, pondering on the past and fretting about the future prevents us from participating in the present.

Panda Ponderings Part One: Personal Proficiencies



   Ever since the movie Kung Fu Panda came out, a strange phenomenon has occurred.  Everyone, quite literally, has been comparing me to Po, the very panda himself.  Personally, I don't see it.  I mean, he's a slightly overweight, off-the-wall goofball, and I'm... Well, maybe I can see it now.  Either way, it's been happening, and I really don't have a problem with it.  Mostly because I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from the big lovable panda.



A plethora of panda paraphernalia.
All sent to me by other people.  Sweet.



   See, Po's story is just awesome. An ancient legend about the "Dragon Warrior" who would deliver the world from evil is all that occupied his mind.  Now, as unlikely a candidate as he was, Po was selected through a series of freak incidents to be the Dragon Warrior.  Here he was, an uncoordinated, somewhat lazy (Okay, the similarities are eerie now) panda, chosen to be the savior of ancient China.  All of the other Kung Fu masters, or Furious Five, were flabbergasted, and I'm sure Po was no less surprised.

The Shepherd and the King

I mean, come on, who would you put your money on?

I'm going to tell you two stories from the Old Testament.  The first is about a shepherd.  Israel was at war with the Philistines (as usual) and things weren't going too hot on the battle front.  See, the Philistines had a secret weapon, a 9-foot-tall freak of nature by the name of Goliath.  He was a huge guy.  He defied the armies of Israel and basically said that if any one person could kill him, the Philistines would bow down to Israel.  Nobody took the bait.  That is, until this shepherd came to the battle to give his older brothers some corn.  He heard the challenge of Goliath, and was really surprised that nobody had taken Goliath up on his offer.  He had great faith that the Lord would deliver Goliath into their hands.  In his own words to Goliath, the young shepherd says:

"This day will the Lord ^adeliver thee into mine hand; and I will smite thee, and take thine head from thee; and I will give the carcases of the host of the Philistines this day unto the fowls of the air, and to the wild beasts of the earth; that all the earth may^bknow that there is a God in Israel." (1 Samuel 17:46)


Those are some pretty strong words.  And it happened.  The shepherd went out with his trusty sling and stones and killed Goliath.  He trusted the Lord with all his might and Goliath was delivered to him.  The story of the young shepherd is one of faith, trust, and action.   

Tide Pen Repentance

The Tide Pen, savior of every
white shirt to go on a mission.

  I think this is an analogy that every single missionary who is familiar with Tide pens has made at some point in his or her mission.  For those of you reading this blog who have never used a Tide pen, and are wondering what in the world I'm talking about, I'll explain.  A Tide pen is a magical tool that uses a special cleaning solution to remove stains instantly from clothing.  It's incredibly useful.  See, sometimes, when you're eating (this is especially true with spaghetti), your food can't quite make it all the way to your mouth (speaking from personal experience).  So, where does it end up?  All over your nice white shirt.  With not a washing machine in sight, that spaghetti sauce is going to set in and you will forever have a little orange spot on your shirt to remind you of your mistake.  Or so you thought. 
 

"Rick's Rules"

   I wasn't sure at first what I wanted to put in my first real post to the "Blogosphere" (I'm catching up on my internet lingo), so I decided to put up something that has shaped my life since I was but a child.  This "something" is a list of rules and maxims to live by.  They have been taught to me throughout most of my life, by my father, Rick.  So, without much further ado, I bring you "Rick's Rules".  I'm going to format into (you guessed it) a list, with my personal experiences with each rule following.

The very man himself, Rick.
He makes pink manly.

Rick's Rule #1 The "Try"-Angle:  As far as I can remember, this is the first "Rick's Rule" that I learned, and I learned it young.  When I was around five or six, it was my job to put away the vacuum hose (we have one of the vacuum systems that you just plug the hose into the wall and it works.  Kind of like magic) when my mom was done cleaning the house (I know, they worked me really hard).  Well, one day my five-year-old brain decided I'd had it.  I couldn't figure out how to curl the hose "just so" to make it sit nicely in the closet.  I did what any five-year-old would do in this situation, and asked my dad to do it.  He just looked at me and said, "Son, do you know what the best angle to approach any problem is?"  I was intrigued.  One solution for any problem?  Count me in!  I asked him what it was. 
 His response:  "The "Try"-angle".  Now, I had trouble wrapping my mind around this concept, I was five after all.  He explained, "All you have to do is try, and when that doesn't work, try again.  Simple as that."  Those words changed my life, and the way the vacuum hose was put away, forever.   

Rick's Rule #2 The Tough Get Going!  While I was yet a child, another of my jobs was to crush our soda cans so they could fit in the recycle (Wow, I'm really surprised nobody called child services.  Putting the vacuum away and crushing cans?  That's nearly abuse).  This particular can-crushing session was a long one, we had a party the week before or something. I was getting frustrated with how long it was taking, so when my dad came into the garage where I was working, I voiced my frustrations and said I wanted to take a break.  Chances are, my dad knew that a "break" for me meant that he would end up doing it.  So, he just looked at me and said, "Son, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!"  So, I took fresh courage, busted out the rest of the cans in five minutes, and was back to watching Saturday morning cartoons in no time.  It saved me a big chewing-out later on as well!

Welcome!

If you are reading this, congratulations! You found my blog, "Polyester Paisleys", in case you didn't read the title. So, as the blog author, I want to formally welcome you. Welcome. Since this is my first post, you might be expecting an explanatory introduction to my blog, and a little blurb about who I am. Well, that's exactly what you should expect because that's what I'm going to write.

First off, about me. I'm Elder Jordan Sharples (Elder is just a title, it means "teacher"), and I'm a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Basically

what this means is that I, along with thousands of other young men and women around the world, am using two years of my life to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and how it has been restored by a living prophet. It is our purpose to "Invite others to come unto Christ." It's pretty sweet. I really am loving every minute of it, even though sometimes things are hard.